I didn’t really know how to follow up our last post about Max’s leg and coming back to North America for quite some time. I thought, “Oh, this trip is over, no one will want to read it now” or “Now we don’t have anything really worthwhile to write about since we’re not abroad”. But, after having some time to do some serious reflection, I feel more ready than ever to write again! I’ve learned so much!! Wow, seriously, all theses thoughts inside me are bursting outwards needing to be shared!
I was afraid, at first, to write anything. Part of me thought I was failing because we weren’t going through with our original plans or that because I didn’t necessarily know what our next move was, or that we were going to be labeled as naive or childish in our endeavors. However, quite the opposite, my fears of being labelled or thinking that uncertainty is a bad thing have been thrown out the window. I have turned the corner and have come to love this feeling of unknowing-ness and uncertainty. Too many times in our life we know exactly what’s gonna happen the next day or the next month or the next year. But, with travelling it has made me embrace this feeling. It’s a season in our life and it is worth cherishing every moment. We’ve met so many new and interesting people, been to places I never could have imagined, and the ultimate, underlying feeling is FREEDOM. We are essentially free to build our future. The trip ending has paved a different than originally predicted pathway. This pathway gives us more opportunity to explore places in the states, places we may want to end up, or places we just want to get to know a little better.
We started out in Pender Island, picking up Floyd and spending two family-filled and love-filled weeks on the idyllic landscape. Following that we visited my cousin, Leana, in Victoria, BC for a few days, visiting a winery or two and mingling with her friends. After that we headed to the illustrious, Okanagan, BC where you know our hearts (especially mine) have a big piece still there. Our (adopted) family and ring of friends put us up where I interviewed for what I thought would be the perfect job for me. Inevitably, I didn’t get the job, but learned so much from it and since the position is still not taken, I know there is hope to get that job or something like it ;-).
We’ve been in Portland for a month now. Our time in Portland has been one full of lessons. We’ve had some incredible friends put us up (Zach Turley, Alex Valentine, Alicia Ratto–Many Thanks 🙂 ) and really gotten to know the ins and outs of the city. I’ve had multiple job offers here, but not one has truly called to me. The right situation just hasn’t come up. I’ve learned so much from all the interviews and introductions to these new potentials and am so happy I’ve had this experience as to apply it to my future.
All this jazz aside, what I’ve really learned is to embrace the fact that we are in this period of uncertainty because so many people in this world don’t have the opportunity to even question what they’re doing let alone get to try out different options. How many times in life do you hear people that are in their 60s & 70s say, “I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up?” Well, that’s kind of like us, but this time we’re going to own it and embrace the confusion and admit that we don’t know what we’re doing or what we want and be completely okay with doing so. Mostly, I just want my feelings to be focused on GRATITUDE. Grateful that Max’s injury is healing well and that nothing worse happened to him and that the surgeon that operated on him knew what he was doing. Grateful that we are blessed with insurance money that allows us the time to keep up with our travels. Grateful for family and friends that support and encourage us constantly with selflessness and agape-like love. Grateful that I have the most amazing understanding partner to do this with, hand-in-hand, who is the king of kindness and compassion. And, finally, grateful for an amazing little wiener dog that is compliant and puts up with all our adventures and who is always the first one to run into the ocean and remind me of why I’m doing this all in the first place ❤ .
So, with the wind in my hair and the sun shining down on me, I will continue to own up to the fact that I have no real plan as of yet, but that I am consciously existing and exploring, knowing that if I put in the hard work and ooze love and kindness, that the right path will come to us.
Love and Peaces,